Balancing Faith, Family, and Film

Speaker: 00:00:00

Hello, welcome to the faith and family filmmakers podcast.

Speaker: 00:00:03

My name is Jacqueline and today I've got Laura Mae with me.

Speaker: 00:00:06

Laura is a Navy wife, mom of nine, and a passionate dreamer who has taken a lifetime of love for the arts and turned it into an international ministry, serving the faith-based and family-friendly film family all over the world.

Speaker: 00:00:20

She's an actress, casting, director, producer, and more excitedly, and constantly discovering new hats to put on her latest project is the brand new app for the indie film world called room four.

Jaclyn: 00:00:33

Okay, um, help me understand.

Jaclyn: 00:00:35

That's a lot of kids, and you have a lot going on in your life.

Jaclyn: 00:00:39

Help me know, how do you even manage that?

Jaclyn: 00:00:42

How do you juggle?

Jaclyn: 00:00:43

You are like a master juggler.

Laura Mae: 00:00:46

So, a lot of people ask me that, and my response is a very simple two words, I don't.

Laura Mae: 00:00:51

I don't juggle it all.

Laura Mae: 00:00:53

I have a few balls that I can pick up and, and do well with at a time, but I have to set one down in order to pick another up, and sometimes that means peanut butter and jelly for dinner, three nights in a row, because I've had a great coaching session.

Laura Mae: 00:01:07

the week.

Laura Mae: 00:01:08

Or perhaps, you know, I've been doing a lot of casting and we're honing in on all of the actors that we need and we're getting all the availability checks done.

Laura Mae: 00:01:16

And quite possibly my bathroom trash is overflowing and all, all of the things.

Laura Mae: 00:01:23

So when people say, how do you do it all?

Laura Mae: 00:01:24

And I love to just tell them, because I don't want any fake false aspirations, you know, based on my life, like people feeling bad because they do.

Laura Mae: 00:01:31

Well, I only have so many kids or I don't have any kids.

Laura Mae: 00:01:35

And I wonder, I look at you and you're doing all these things.

Laura Mae: 00:01:38

And that's why I just want to let them know, don't look at my life and be discouraged that you aren't capable of more.

Laura Mae: 00:01:45

Because I think that that's society in social media just has done a, such a disservice in presenting the highlight reels to people.

Laura Mae: 00:01:53

And they don't acknowledge what is actually.

Laura Mae: 00:01:56

going on in the background.

Laura Mae: 00:01:56

So I'm quick to say, listen, if it's fabulous on the business front, we are band aiding all over the place.

Laura Mae: 00:02:04

Is that a word?

Laura Mae: 00:02:05

Um, in the home life.

Laura Mae: 00:02:06

And then when home life is great, you know, I'm like, it's been a while since I caught up on emails.

Laura Mae: 00:02:12

so it's just a balance, but finding that, that is a constant prayer of mine is, you know, You know, cause I, I said to somebody, I said, well, I have a lot of children.

Laura Mae: 00:02:19

And they said, Laura, but your film children, don't forget about them because God has given you nine of your own natural children, but he's also given you thousands of film children and they need you to.

Laura Mae: 00:02:29

And so literally every day, it's just a, it's just a prayer.

Laura Mae: 00:02:32

And I say, Lord, what, what do I do?

Laura Mae: 00:02:35

And, you know, sometimes it's not what we expect, right?

Laura Mae: 00:02:37

Sometimes it's not pushing our career forward.

Laura Mae: 00:02:39

And that's, that's also a one of those notes that I feel like God has given me to say into the mic is, sometimes I'm going to ask you to do things that don't further your career.

Laura Mae: 00:02:48

so for instance, right?

Laura Mae: 00:02:49

If we look at, all of the chaos that has happened within North Carolina, Tennessee, you know, ravaging hurricanes.

Laura Mae: 00:02:56

Those folks are still, some of them living in tents by the river.

Laura Mae: 00:02:59

It's getting cold.

Laura Mae: 00:03:00

It's starting to snow.

Laura Mae: 00:03:01

And I was recently so excited to go to ICVM.

Laura Mae: 00:03:04

It was on my bucket list forever.

Laura Mae: 00:03:07

It's like the top of the top of the top.

Laura Mae: 00:03:09

And I just thought, Oh, I'm finally at that place.

Laura Mae: 00:03:10

I feel like I belong there.

Laura Mae: 00:03:12

And I'm so excited.

Laura Mae: 00:03:14

I know so many of the people there and the week of ICVM.

Laura Mae: 00:03:18

I just, I didn't feel at peace about going, and as it turns out, I spent my entire week working on hurricane relief efforts.

Laura Mae: 00:03:25

And so I was torn because I was like, ugh, I was so close to ICVM!

Laura Mae: 00:03:28

And then of course I'm hearing all the stories like, man, FOMO, you know, fear of missing out, I was like, I should have been there.

Laura Mae: 00:03:35

But in my spirit, I was like, no, I shouldn't have been, you

Jaclyn: 00:03:37

Mm hmm.

Laura Mae: 00:03:38

no, I need you here and I need you to trust not in your own understanding, lean on me, because I led you to do these hurricane efforts that week and I know what I'm doing.

Laura Mae: 00:03:48

And so even in that balance of, you know, do I coach today or do I clean my house today?

Laura Mae: 00:03:52

Um, it's also, am I to pursue the kingdom of God today?

Laura Mae: 00:03:57

via the film industry, or am I pursuing the kingdom in a completely different area?

Laura Mae: 00:04:01

And we need to be flexible as Christians.

Laura Mae: 00:04:04

We need to be able to hear that voice, right?

Jaclyn: 00:04:09

you don't actually juggle everything.

Jaclyn: 00:04:12

at once, and because that has been my experience too with a lot of things.

Jaclyn: 00:04:16

Like, yeah, sure, I started writing when I was 11, but it's not like I wrote every day since then.

Jaclyn: 00:04:23

Like when I was raising my kids, yeah, I'd go through phases where, for months, I'd be really focused on working on a script or developing something.

Jaclyn: 00:04:31

And then I'd set it down because I had other things I needed to do.

Jaclyn: 00:04:33

And I think also, even as an artist, as a creative person, we're interested in multiple aspects of creativity.

Jaclyn: 00:04:39

And so sometimes it was writing, sometimes it was music, sometimes it was dance, like it was just all of these different things.

Jaclyn: 00:04:46

then when you throw family into all of that, it's like, that's going to be a constant.

Jaclyn: 00:04:50

And yes, sometimes the housework or the house chores can either wait or be delegated.

Jaclyn: 00:04:55

But, when it comes to kids, you have a finite time with them in your home.

Jaclyn: 00:04:59

And so, yeah, that was always the top of my priority list.

Jaclyn: 00:05:03

Like, if anything had to be set down, it was not going to be the kids.

Jaclyn: 00:05:06

but pretty much anything else was up for grabs, you know?

Laura Mae: 00:05:11

Well, and I, promised the Lord he pulled me into this direction, I said, if you will allow me to do this, I mean, this is so fun.

Laura Mae: 00:05:16

As an adult, I didn't realize I could do what I love and be a mom.

Laura Mae: 00:05:20

but I promised him I'd always do it with my children.

Laura Mae: 00:05:22

It wouldn't be one of these pursuits, that fought my time with my children, it would be hand in hand.

Laura Mae: 00:05:28

And so I've been very, very blessed to encounter filmmakers and fellow film industry veterans around the nation that welcome me and my children.

Laura Mae: 00:05:37

And that's not normal.

Laura Mae: 00:05:38

So that's part of how I've known that this is what I'm supposed to do because I'm welcomed, you know, and the door's thrown open a lot of times for children as well, which is awesome.

Jaclyn: 00:05:47

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 00:05:48

Oh, I love that.

Jaclyn: 00:05:49

And I love that they're interested in what you're doing.

Jaclyn: 00:05:52

My kids had zero interest in anything that I was doing, but you know, whatever.

Laura Mae: 00:05:59

Well, it's funny because none of them want a career out of it, not a single one.

Laura Mae: 00:06:03

You would think out of

Jaclyn: 00:06:04

just having fun.

Laura Mae: 00:06:04

I'm going, could I, would just one of you maybe want to work with mom?

Laura Mae: 00:06:08

I don't know, you know, and They all have their own individual pursuits.

Laura Mae: 00:06:12

Now, they love the film festivals.

Laura Mae: 00:06:14

They love being on set.

Laura Mae: 00:06:15

They love the relationships that they've developed because film folks are some of our favorite folks.

Laura Mae: 00:06:20

I mean, you know, like, it just is family.

Laura Mae: 00:06:23

I think you probably spent more time holding my baby at a recent film festival than, literally, than her Any of her aunts or uncles have and it's just, it's just the way it is.

Laura Mae: 00:06:33

Uh, but I love it because when I say film family, like it really is.

Laura Mae: 00:06:37

And they've, they've taken me in and my children.

Jaclyn: 00:06:39

That's

Laura Mae: 00:06:39

it's awesome.

Jaclyn: 00:06:41

All right, so let's talk a little bit more about some of the things that you are doing.

Jaclyn: 00:06:45

Tell me about John 3.

Jaclyn: 00:06:46

16, because this is such an amazing ministry that you have.

Jaclyn: 00:06:51

Would you call it a ministry, or what would, how would you describe it?

Laura Mae: 00:06:54

Sure.

Laura Mae: 00:06:54

So let me, backtrack and I'll try to do the fastest version of this that I ever have.

Laura Mae: 00:06:59

But when I was five years old, it really felt strongly called to African missions.

Laura Mae: 00:07:03

And I, I didn't know what that meant.

Laura Mae: 00:07:05

I was five, you know, um, but I so adored the missionaries that came through our church And I love sports, so I was looking at, these baseball cards and basketball cards, my brother and I would collect them, and wrestler cards, and don't judge me.

Laura Mae: 00:07:17

Um, but I'm looking at all of these cards and I was like, why don't missionaries have cards?

Laura Mae: 00:07:21

They should have them, like, with their face on

Laura Mae: 00:07:22

the

Laura Mae: 00:07:23

' Jaclyn: cause they're heroes.

Laura Mae: 00:07:24

no, they were to me!

Laura Mae: 00:07:25

I was like, They should have their country and they should have what they do there and they should have how we can pray for them.

Laura Mae: 00:07:29

And so I wanted to collect her card, like we'd trade them in Sunday school

Jaclyn: 00:07:33

my goodness.

Laura Mae: 00:07:34

that's, that's how, like, in my mind, how much I adored, missions.

Laura Mae: 00:07:38

And so fast forward to college, and I remember a very distinct moment where I, in the room I was sitting in and the chair I was sitting in, in that room, and I remember when I was once again called to missions, and it was clear as day.

Laura Mae: 00:07:52

I, I didn't know any better at that time what it meant than I did when I was five years old.

Laura Mae: 00:07:57

Cause I was in school for a music education.

Laura Mae: 00:07:59

My mom always told me, Oh, well you can't be a singer, you know, cause you need to pick a real job.

Laura Mae: 00:08:04

And I was like, Oh, well, if I need a real job, I guess maybe I'll be a choir teacher and then I'll teach somebody who wants to sing.

Laura Mae: 00:08:10

Cause I was a dreamer.

Laura Mae: 00:08:11

My parents are not, They're not just feet flat on the ground.

Laura Mae: 00:08:14

They're like, let's bury our feet three inches under to make sure we can't move.

Jaclyn: 00:08:17

We're not going anywhere.

Laura Mae: 00:08:19

My mom will say, how did I give birth to you?

Laura Mae: 00:08:21

I'm like, I really actually don't know.

Laura Mae: 00:08:23

Um, because I'm on the opposite spectrum where I tell all my 14, just kidding, it's only nine children.

Laura Mae: 00:08:30

I'm like, you dream big and you do whatever the Lord has called you to do.

Laura Mae: 00:08:33

I don't care how crazy it is.

Laura Mae: 00:08:35

I will be here to support you if you really believe it's what God wants.

Laura Mae: 00:08:38

And I'll be your nest to fall back into if it doesn't work out.

Laura Mae: 00:08:41

Or if you need a break, you know, your arms get tired and there's no place to land.

Laura Mae: 00:08:44

Come on back and fly back out again.

Laura Mae: 00:08:46

So, in college, I didn't know what that meant either.

Laura Mae: 00:08:49

Like, I was still so, so convinced, but so lost.

Laura Mae: 00:08:52

And I ended up getting married soon after I got married in my sophomore year of college.

Laura Mae: 00:08:56

Whoops!

Laura Mae: 00:08:57

I got married on Christmas break.

Laura Mae: 00:08:58

That's a story for another time.

Laura Mae: 00:08:59

you know, as I'm in band class, people are like, Oh, what'd you guys do on Christmas break?

Laura Mae: 00:09:03

I was like, well, I got married.

Laura Mae: 00:09:05

We're now waiting on military housing.

Laura Mae: 00:09:07

Um, they're like, you're not even engaged.

Laura Mae: 00:09:09

I said, well, that happened on Christmas break too, but whatever.

Laura Mae: 00:09:11

Um,

Jaclyn: 00:09:12

Why?

Jaclyn: 00:09:12

Wait.

Jaclyn: 00:09:13

I mean,

Jaclyn: 00:09:13

if you

Laura Mae: 00:09:14

I know,

Laura Mae: 00:09:14

well we were, that's what our thought was, is well we need to wait for military housing and it takes six months, so let's get married now.

Laura Mae: 00:09:19

I'll go back to school, you'll go back to the base, and then we'll, you know, I can finish this semester, I'll transfer somewhere, I'll, whatever.

Laura Mae: 00:09:25

Did not happen.

Laura Mae: 00:09:26

Totally got housing in two weeks, and then I was like, I said, Mom, what do I do?

Laura Mae: 00:09:30

And she goes, you leave school, you're married, you go to your husband.

Laura Mae: 00:09:34

I was like, oh, okay.

Laura Mae: 00:09:36

So then I almost immediately started having children.

Laura Mae: 00:09:38

And then, you know, the missions thing had completely fallen out of my mind and not, not completely, cause you know how that is, but, but so tucked under child after child, after child, after child, that years later, I just, I, I in tears would apologize to the Lord.

Laura Mae: 00:09:53

Like I, I know that you called me to that and I'm so sorry that I messed that up, that I couldn't.

Laura Mae: 00:09:58

I can't do it now, you know, like African Missions is absolutely impossible.

Laura Mae: 00:10:02

but don't we serve the Lord of the

Jaclyn: 00:10:04

Right.

Laura Mae: 00:10:05

here we go, jumping into Christian Casting.

Laura Mae: 00:10:07

8 or 9 years ago I started that?

Laura Mae: 00:10:09

I don't remember.

Laura Mae: 00:10:09

It's been a long time.

Laura Mae: 00:10:10

And even years, I can say years ago now, we began the Room 4 app.

Laura Mae: 00:10:14

And through the course of that, me just networking with Christian filmmakers and actors and editors and screenwriters and all of the things, a young man named Geoffrey, V.

Laura Mae: 00:10:23

J.

Laura Mae: 00:10:23

Geoffrey is his name on Facebook.

Laura Mae: 00:10:24

V.

Laura Mae: 00:10:25

J.

Laura Mae: 00:10:25

stands for Video Jockey, just like our American DJ for Disc Jockey.

Laura Mae: 00:10:29

And he was reaching out to filmmakers and we started up a conversation and that was probably three or four years ago at this point.

Laura Mae: 00:10:39

And so over the course of time, God just burned my heart more and more for this beginning school that God had placed on his heart.

Laura Mae: 00:10:46

And he was starting the school, but saying, Lord, I can't do this alone.

Laura Mae: 00:10:50

I don't know how to run a school.

Laura Mae: 00:10:51

I was a dropout myself.

Laura Mae: 00:10:53

I've lived on the streets.

Laura Mae: 00:10:53

I don't, I don't know what this means.

Laura Mae: 00:10:55

I just know that you're calling me to do it.

Laura Mae: 00:10:57

so, it was probably about a year and a half ago, that, maybe two years ago, that were asking me to teach.

Laura Mae: 00:11:03

So I was beginning to teach virtual classes, and then to finally actually become their school administrator for the John 316 film school in Uganda.

Laura Mae: 00:11:11

And I remember the moment that I actually was able to digest the fact, like I just wept and wept and wept.

Laura Mae: 00:11:17

And I went, Oh my goodness, God actually allowed me to be a missionary in

Laura Mae: 00:11:24

Africa.

Laura Mae: 00:11:25

In, I think it was 2020 or in this age of Zoom, post COVID, in this age of international networking and conversation, um, he has allowed me to become intricately involved with the lives of 52 students and Geoffrey there in Uganda And he would have it that now, um, I have fulfilled it Well, you know what?

Laura Mae: 00:11:46

I have not done it I have just stepped into the fulfillment that he always knew was waiting as a busy American mom, to somehow miraculously also be a missionary in Africa.

Laura Mae: 00:11:56

So it just is mind blowing.

Laura Mae: 00:11:58

But that is part of my passion is because God knew that as a little girl, he'd plant that seed and like bamboo, it would grow down, down, down, down, down, down, down.

Laura Mae: 00:12:06

Is it the bamboo plant?

Laura Mae: 00:12:07

I think where it grows roots deep first and you don't see much on the surface, but then all of a sudden, once you see that surface growth, it just explodes out of nowhere because all those years have been spent building The root system that it would require to sustain such fast growth.

Laura Mae: 00:12:24

It needed years to put those roots in the ground.

Laura Mae: 00:12:26

And so that's exactly what the film school has been for me.

Jaclyn: 00:12:29

What a blessing.

Jaclyn: 00:12:30

I mean, we serve a creative God,

Jaclyn: 00:12:32

right?

Jaclyn: 00:12:32

Where he's like, look, I'm going to bless you in a lot of areas, and it's going to seem impossible that I could do it.

Jaclyn: 00:12:38

But I'm going to do it.

Jaclyn: 00:12:40

I'm going to give you kids, not just one or two.

Jaclyn: 00:12:43

No, I'm going to give you a whole quiverful, and I'm also going to give you kids in Africa

Jaclyn: 00:12:48

that you're going to be speaking into their lives and helping to develop what I've called them to.

Jaclyn: 00:12:54

Amazing.

Laura Mae: 00:12:55

Yes, it's been awesome.

Laura Mae: 00:12:56

And so we're actually now developing a, okay, you heard it here first

Laura Mae: 00:13:00

folks.

Laura Mae: 00:13:01

we have not talked to anybody publicly about this and we're sort of just leaking it out.

Laura Mae: 00:13:04

So I'll only give shy details,

Laura Mae: 00:13:06

but we are developing a curriculum for the film school because America is by international standards, definitely at the forefront of film in general, but that includes faith based film and as faith based filmmaking.

Laura Mae: 00:13:20

takes a lot of the forefront from even Hollywood filmmaking, right?

Laura Mae: 00:13:25

And

Laura Mae: 00:13:25

everybody's kind of like, ooh, now it's the cool thing.

Laura Mae: 00:13:28

Hang on, there's a bunch of money in faith films.

Laura Mae: 00:13:30

Whoa, hang on.

Laura Mae: 00:13:31

Now Sony and all, all of these other companies are like, oh, we're in, we're in.

Laura Mae: 00:13:34

Yeah, we'll make Bible movies.

Laura Mae: 00:13:36

And so instead of working within the Ugandan Ministry of Education, because we've looked at some of their materials, we decided, I won't say the name, but a pretty prominent filmmaker here and I are working hand in hand to create a brand new curriculum that we are going to kind of test flight through the John 316 Film School, but it will actually be available to anyone in the world virtually, and that will be on our Room 4 app.

Laura Mae: 00:14:01

So, we're really excited about that because right now if you are anywhere in the industry and you want to take virtual filmmaking classes, you're It's really difficult.

Laura Mae: 00:14:09

You can do slivers of it here and there, but for the most part, you have to be able to show up in a class.

Laura Mae: 00:14:13

And I, completely respect and understand that, but I've kept thinking there's got to be something for those who want to learn and just can't sit in a classroom.

Laura Mae: 00:14:21

You know, in this age of Zoom, can we provide something that at least gets their foot in the door, at least the folks that they should know in this industry.

Laura Mae: 00:14:30

And so we're excited.

Laura Mae: 00:14:31

We're going to be asking a lot of our own peers here in America to be most of the teachers so

Laura Mae: 00:14:36

that we're going to be introducing to them, not just a fellow upcoming American talent, but I'm hoping that names like you, Jaclyn are going to be known literally all over the world.

Laura Mae: 00:14:45

And we'd be like, Hey, by the way, Alexandra and Jaclyn have this really cool mentorship program, you know, and, and maybe you guys are teaching a class and then, um, You know, we're gonna be asking these other folks in America, and so we're super excited about that.

Jaclyn: 00:14:57

Okay, I have a question.

Jaclyn: 00:14:58

Are you talking about, evergreen content, or are you actually doing live online Zoom kind of classes?

Laura Mae: 00:15:05

Oh, evergreen content.

Laura Mae: 00:15:06

Yes, cause, you remember that old meme, like, ain't nobody got time for that?

Laura Mae: 00:15:09

That is one ball that is far too large for me to juggle at all.

Laura Mae: 00:15:13

And so we are trying to make it evergreen so that it can sustain itself.

Laura Mae: 00:15:17

And then we can continually add content if we would like to.

Laura Mae: 00:15:20

We would like to maybe launch a Facebook group or maybe even a room in the Room 4 app where students who are taking classes, working at their own pace, can come and discuss with other students and meet other people who are taking those, meet some of the teachers maybe.

Laura Mae: 00:15:34

But we definitely want it to be something that is so hands off.

Laura Mae: 00:15:38

That all of the teachers that we ask are gonna be really excited 'cause they record it once and then they're done.

Laura Mae: 00:15:43

And if they want interaction, the opportunity will be there.

Laura Mae: 00:15:46

But if they don't have time for that, then they're still allowed to be introduced to student, after student, after student all over the world and replicate.

Laura Mae: 00:15:54

Right.

Laura Mae: 00:15:54

Because that's, that's always my heart is like, Lord, if there could just be 10 of me, I could almost accomplish everything that you set out for

Laura Mae: 00:16:00

me to do.

Laura Mae: 00:16:01

You know, but I need clones, and somehow that seems really anti you, to

Jaclyn: 00:16:06

well, you know what, we're going to have to talk more about this off podcast because I want to share with you a lot of the things that I have learned because, like, we've been doing some similar things, with developing out our education.

Jaclyn: 00:16:20

And so, definitely, we should connect.

Jaclyn: 00:16:22

I think that this is where, as believers, as family, that we can learn and grow together and work together.

Jaclyn: 00:16:27

with each other, from each other.

Jaclyn: 00:16:29

And I want you to be successful.

Jaclyn: 00:16:31

And so I am so excited that I can share with you some of the research I've already done that would hopefully, launch this forward even faster for you.

Laura Mae: 00:16:41

That's so cool.

Jaclyn: 00:16:42

Mm hmm.

Jaclyn: 00:16:43

okay.

Jaclyn: 00:16:43

So we're almost finished our first portion of this interview.

Jaclyn: 00:16:47

and I want to ask you, do you have any words of advice or wisdom that you would like to share with our listeners?

Laura Mae: 00:16:54

one of the isms, you know, people, if they hear a phrase, they, they've started going, Oh, that's a Laura.

Laura Mae: 00:16:59

You know, that Laura started that, that your talent defines your mission field.

Laura Mae: 00:17:03

And I do believe that that is why we are given the talent that we are given.

Laura Mae: 00:17:06

Not so that.

Laura Mae: 00:17:08

That talent or that passion can define us because it shouldn't.

Laura Mae: 00:17:12

but because that is going to define our particular circle.

Laura Mae: 00:17:16

And one of the most incredible videos that I ever saw on Facebook that speaks to this is, this man says, well, you know, isn't it exciting God called you to be a singer?

Laura Mae: 00:17:27

And he's like, you didn't call me to be a singer.

Laura Mae: 00:17:28

I mean, I love to sing and I sing, but that's not what I was called to do.

Laura Mae: 00:17:31

Because if that's what I was called to do, what happens if I lose my voice?

Laura Mae: 00:17:35

What happens if I get in a wreck and I can't speak?

Laura Mae: 00:17:37

Or what if happens if I'm disfigured or what happens if, you know, like, then am I not who I was called to be?

Laura Mae: 00:17:42

He's like, our talent doesn't define.

Laura Mae: 00:17:45

who we are in Christ.

Laura Mae: 00:17:46

And so many people get that so

Laura Mae: 00:17:48

backwards.

Laura Mae: 00:17:49

so if you allow your passion and your talent to simply define the circle that you run with, for this season, then if that talent or that passion changes, It doesn't completely disengage you from yourself.

Laura Mae: 00:18:00

Like I, I have been in a position where I lost my identity, even as a Christian.

Laura Mae: 00:18:05

I was working for a ministry here in, this artist world.

Laura Mae: 00:18:08

And then the ministry that I was involved in closed.

Laura Mae: 00:18:11

And I was like, wait, wait that.

Laura Mae: 00:18:12

But, but I had finally figured out who I was and I literally lost myself.

Laura Mae: 00:18:16

I was still a mom.

Laura Mae: 00:18:17

I had five children.

Laura Mae: 00:18:19

I still had all the same friends within the industry that I got.

Laura Mae: 00:18:21

But all of a sudden, because my job title wasn't there anymore.

Laura Mae: 00:18:24

I literally became so worried that I was just gonna be a mom again, and I was like, okay, that's really petty, Laura.

Laura Mae: 00:18:30

but I didn't know how, I just, all I knew is, it doesn't make sense, but my feelings are still valid.

Laura Mae: 00:18:35

And I realized that God allowed that to be taken out of my life to say, hey, hey, hey, I gave you that passion.

Laura Mae: 00:18:41

I gave you the color hair, the color eyes, the, the height, everything about you, I chose for you, including the passions you may have.

Laura Mae: 00:18:47

You didn't go through the assembly line and having to be like, I want this and I want this, you know, it was chosen for you but only to supplement who I created you to be, not to become your identity.

Laura Mae: 00:18:58

And so, I guess that is probably the most significant lesson that I have learned in this journey is you know, enjoy it while it's here, but don't let it become your identity.

Laura Mae: 00:19:08

We can't.

Laura Mae: 00:19:09

And it's so easy because we feel that we need to validate ourselves and we need to prove ourselves not just to others, but even to ourselves.

Laura Mae: 00:19:15

I have to prove that I'm worthy to run Christian casting.

Laura Mae: 00:19:18

I have to prove that I have a right to build an app.

Laura Mae: 00:19:20

Like no, God has given me these passions and that's what I'm here to do.

Laura Mae: 00:19:25

And, and if he changes those passions, you know, like I think we were talking, about the recent ICVM, um, Film festival I wanted to go to and the Lord's like, no, you are going to be doing hurricane relief efforts for North Carolina that

Laura Mae: 00:19:36

week.

Laura Mae: 00:19:37

But because my identity is as a child of the Lord who longs to build his kingdom, then whatever direction he puts me in that day, like if I wake up in the morning, he's like, okay now today I need you to do this.

Laura Mae: 00:19:48

I'm like, all right, cool.

Laura Mae: 00:19:49

I'm on it, and then the next day I'll be back to film stuff or not.

Laura Mae: 00:19:52

But I think that that's an area that we say, well, if you take it seriously, you know, you'll be, well, here's the only thing that we should take serious is being a child of the Lord, dedicated to the building of his kingdom, whatever that might mean from day to day, from moment to moment.

Laura Mae: 00:20:07

So I guess that would be my kind of universal wisdom, um, to anyone who might hear it.

Jaclyn: 00:20:13

Absolutely.

Jaclyn: 00:20:13

That's amazing.

Jaclyn: 00:20:14

Preach.

Jaclyn: 00:20:16

Good stuff.

Jaclyn: 00:20:17

No, it's so true.

Jaclyn: 00:20:18

Okay.

Jaclyn: 00:20:19

Thank you so much for being on this podcast, and I'm looking forward to continuing our conversation in the next episode.

Laura Mae: 00:20:26

I love it.

Laura Mae: 00:20:27

Thank you.