Setting Boundaries and Empowering Actors with Venus Monique

Jaclyn: 00:00:00

Welcome to the members only portion of the Faith in Family Filmmakers podcast.

Jaclyn: 00:00:04

I'm Jaclyn and my husband Geoff here is with me.

Jaclyn: 00:00:07

And today we have Venus Monique in here with us and I'm excited to hear more about this guide that she has, how to get into acting.

Jaclyn: 00:00:15

Can you tell me, more about this guide?

Jaclyn: 00:00:17

Correct me on the title of it please.

Venus: 00:00:19

Yeah, it's, uh, it's super simple How to get into acting guide.

Venus: 00:00:23

So, I think I just call it an acting guide, but the slug is how to get into acting guide.

Jaclyn: 00:00:27

All right.

Jaclyn: 00:00:28

I think you mentioned something about Craigslist at one point.

Jaclyn: 00:00:30

Can you let me know, what

Jaclyn: 00:00:31

is that about?

Venus: 00:00:32

Yeah, so whenever I moved to Austin to start taking the acting stuff seriously, I did not know where to turn to.

Venus: 00:00:39

I knew God called me to it, but I didn't know Like, who?

Venus: 00:00:43

Like, I don't know any coaches.

Venus: 00:00:44

I don't know any, anything here.

Venus: 00:00:46

And so I just went to Craigslist like, well, maybe I'll find something on there.

Venus: 00:00:50

And sure enough, I found a documentary.

Venus: 00:00:52

They were needing someone to play the face of their documentary.

Venus: 00:00:54

And so I got connected with them.

Venus: 00:00:56

And from filming that, they told me about a few acting coaches in Austin, and I was like, well, that was a very valuable resource because it led to a bunch of things.

Venus: 00:01:06

So I put it in the acting guide as an option when you're in places where you don't know anyone, Craigslist really has options for you to choose from.

Venus: 00:01:14

But there are also some sketchy things in Craigslist, which I believe I mentioned in the acting guide.

Venus: 00:01:19

One of those was this guy that wanted to meet me at nighttime, under a bridge, in Austin.

Venus: 00:01:25

And like, he wanted me to wear some athletic clothes or something and I'm like, this is just weird.

Venus: 00:01:30

I'm good.

Venus: 00:01:31

I Yeah.

Venus: 00:01:32

Yeah.

Venus: 00:01:32

At night.

Venus: 00:01:33

Like what could we possibly film?

Venus: 00:01:34

I don't know.

Venus: 00:01:36

So yeah, that's the one, one way to get into acting and local colleges and stuff like that.

Venus: 00:01:40

So the acting guide is full of tips and pros and cons.

Geoff: 00:01:45

what led to you writing this guide?

Geoff: 00:01:47

What was the background, what was the purpose?

Venus: 00:01:49

Yeah, I had a lot of people reaching out to me when I started doing things.

Venus: 00:01:52

They were like, Hey, how did you get started acting?

Venus: 00:01:54

Hey, do you mind telling me what I can do to start acting?

Venus: 00:01:56

My daughter wants to start acting.

Venus: 00:01:58

What did you do?

Venus: 00:01:58

And so I found myself like, typing out the same long thing every time because I actually like to give people information and not just offer them some vague answer.

Venus: 00:02:08

And so I was writing the same thing and I thought, you know what?

Venus: 00:02:10

If they've had this question, other people do.

Venus: 00:02:12

I'm going to put it in a guide.

Venus: 00:02:14

And that way I can just send the same thing to every person, and they can have it in a simple, you know, a simple format.

Geoff: 00:02:19

Cool.

Geoff: 00:02:20

And I know you mentioned, as Jaclyn asked, about the Craigslist thing, but there's obviously a lot more different types of advice and things in this guide than how to find an opportunity like that.

Venus: 00:02:30

Yeah, there's a lot.

Venus: 00:02:31

It's a few pages long.

Venus: 00:02:32

So I just kind of put a lot of helpful stuff in there that anybody starting out in the industry would want to

Jaclyn: 00:02:36

Mm.

Jaclyn: 00:02:37

Fantastic.

Jaclyn: 00:02:37

And so that kind of brings us back around to the conversation about boundaries.

Jaclyn: 00:02:42

Because you mentioned, you know, looking through Craigslist, there's some that you would take, but then some that you would not take.

Jaclyn: 00:02:47

So, can we talk more about boundaries and experiences that you have, with letting people know your boundaries?

Venus: 00:02:54

Yeah, so important, especially in this industry, because this industry, it almost seems like people expect you to do anything and everything to get ahead or to become successful.

Venus: 00:03:04

And I'm like, no.

Venus: 00:03:06

You are your own person and you can have your values and your morals and thAt's okay.

Venus: 00:03:11

I remember when I was taking these classes with these acting coaches and I thought, oh man, I don't know.

Venus: 00:03:16

I don't know where they are on the scale of like, you need to do everything or not, but I thought, I know God's called me to this and I know that I need to honor him through it.

Venus: 00:03:23

And I've got my lines in the sand, and if these coaches aren't cool with it, then I don't need to take their class.

Venus: 00:03:28

And so one of the things I would do if I was auditing and I'm like, you know, I might want to go ahead and pay for their class, I'd have a conversation with them or an email, whatever it was, and just say, Hey, just so you know, I'm not, interested in doing this, that, or the other.

Venus: 00:03:41

And I would kind of lay out a few boundaries that I have ,and scenes that I don't want to do and I don't want to practice, and like, don't give me this scene type of thing.

Venus: 00:03:49

And then at the end I would say, if you're okay with it, then I would love to take your class.

Venus: 00:03:52

If not, I completely understand.

Venus: 00:03:54

And what's amazing is everyone I told that to was totally fine with it.

Venus: 00:03:58

I was not expecting that.

Venus: 00:04:00

And then there was this one class that I did.

Venus: 00:04:02

Um, and I was told how like firm, like she's very harsh.

Venus: 00:04:06

She's really like, it was my Meisner class and she had a very good reputation and she was firm and I thought, I don't know how she's going to feel about this.

Venus: 00:04:15

Like maybe other people have told her that they've had boundaries, but maybe not.

Venus: 00:04:19

And so I had a conversation with her after auditing and I, we were sitting there together talking and I said, just so you know, I'm not comfortable with this, that, and the other.

Venus: 00:04:27

And if you're cool with it, I'd love to take your class.

Venus: 00:04:29

If not, it's totally fine.

Venus: 00:04:31

And she's like, I think that's great.

Venus: 00:04:32

Cause you know what?

Venus: 00:04:33

At the end of the day, you're the one who has to look down on your own mountain and be okay with everything you've done.

Venus: 00:04:39

And I was like, well, I was not expecting that.

Venus: 00:04:42

Yeah.

Venus: 00:04:43

So I was so grateful to know that and I don't think a lot of other people would have challenged her in that way because of her reputation.

Venus: 00:04:50

And not that it's a challenge, it's just...

Venus: 00:04:52

we just have this, idea of people.

Venus: 00:04:53

We don't know how they're going to respond, but when it's important to you, you make it known because on the other side of that, if I hadn't made it known and she spent all this time getting me a scene that I wasn't comfortable with, then she has to go redo that scene, which means redo my scene partner, which means find another scene partner.

Venus: 00:05:09

So it's just like tell them ahead of time so that you're saving them time, and you time and frustration.

Venus: 00:05:15

And then when it comes to, casting, like there's a lot of things I've turned down, and just emailing them like, Hey, I just read through the script.

Venus: 00:05:23

Thank you so much for offering me the role.

Venus: 00:05:25

But doing this and that isn't my cup of tea.

Venus: 00:05:27

If you're willing to adjust that, I would love to continue in the role.

Venus: 00:05:30

If not, that's totally fine.

Venus: 00:05:31

Sometimes they'd be like, yeah, we can take that out.

Venus: 00:05:33

That's fine.

Venus: 00:05:34

Other times they'd be like, no, sorry, I'm not going to remove that, but we'd love to work with you on something in the future.

Venus: 00:05:40

So it just was always a win because there was communication happening.

Geoff: 00:05:44

Let's talk about this in the context of the faith based film industry, because, not everything that a person might have boundaries for are necessarily right or wrong, or, morally wrong, and it may still fit, in your list of boundaries.

Geoff: 00:05:59

So tell us about that, tell us, uh, how it fits in with your work...

Venus: 00:06:03

Yeah.

Venus: 00:06:04

interestingly, so I have this conversation with actor friends because we all have different levels of boundaries that, You know, the lines that we're willing to cross.

Venus: 00:06:12

Some lines are further, some lines are closer.

Venus: 00:06:14

And it's interesting just to see where we all are, and I recently turned down,...

Venus: 00:06:20

um, It was kind of sad, but like, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Venus: 00:06:24

Um, it was a lead role in a feature film, actually.

Venus: 00:06:28

And it was so, it was so good.

Venus: 00:06:30

I read the script and I loved it.

Venus: 00:06:32

And I didn't realize what was in it.

Venus: 00:06:33

I didn't realize there was a little bit of physical stuff.

Venus: 00:06:35

It wasn't a lot, but it was more than I was comfortable doing.

Venus: 00:06:38

And I thought, Oh gosh, this is a really tough one.

Venus: 00:06:42

I'm going to turn it down.

Venus: 00:06:43

Or at least I'm going to mention it to them that I'm not comfortable doing that and just see where it goes.

Venus: 00:06:48

So we ended up having a conversation.

Venus: 00:06:50

They didn't want to change the script, and I didn't want to do what was in the script.

Venus: 00:06:54

And so we just ended up having to be like, tough one, but we just can't work together on this.

Venus: 00:06:59

And it's hard, but also my conscience is clear.

Venus: 00:07:02

They still are being able to produce the product that they had in their mind.

Venus: 00:07:06

So it is a hard conversation and that someone who filled my role is happy to do those things.

Venus: 00:07:12

Like she's totally fine.

Venus: 00:07:14

So we all have those different boundaries and like it does cost you a thing or two and it's cost me some, um...

Venus: 00:07:20

there's just another cool story, I guess, since we're on the topic.

Venus: 00:07:23

I was a stand in on a movie that was filming in Austin.

Venus: 00:07:27

Do you guys know what a stand in is?

Jaclyn: 00:07:28

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 00:07:29

And this is, industry people that are listening in, so, uh, they should know.

Venus: 00:07:33

Yeah, really great for actors.

Venus: 00:07:35

If you're an actor, you should try to be a stand in, at least once.

Venus: 00:07:37

Anyway, so I was on a feature film, and it was...

Venus: 00:07:39

big names on the film, and there was a scene where the girl is straddling a dude on a bed.

Venus: 00:07:45

And I'm watching the actors and I'm like, Oh, we're gonna have to recreate that so that the lights and the camera and all that, you know, they can get set up while the actors are in the trailer.

Venus: 00:07:53

And I was like, well, I'm not straddling a dude.

Venus: 00:07:55

Like, you ain't my husband, so I'm not gonna do that.

Venus: 00:07:57

So like, how can I do and still help them get what they need?

Venus: 00:08:01

So I just...

Venus: 00:08:01

I was on the bed and I hovered over the dude so that my face was in the right spot.

Venus: 00:08:05

But instead of straddling him, I just put my knees on the same side.

Venus: 00:08:09

And I thought they're still going to get the face that they need, but I could hear whispers in the room.

Venus: 00:08:13

And I was like, Oh oh.

Venus: 00:08:15

Like

Venus: 00:08:16

things just being discussed, but whatever.

Venus: 00:08:18

Nobody said anything to me.

Venus: 00:08:19

And even if they did, I will just walk off set right now because I'm not going to do that.

Venus: 00:08:23

So after that scene, I got a call from my agent and she was like, Hey, I heard what went down today.

Venus: 00:08:28

Tell me about it.

Venus: 00:08:30

And I was like, okay, so this happened and that happened.

Venus: 00:08:32

And she was like, all right, well, let me talk to production and I'll get back to you.

Venus: 00:08:35

And I was like, cool.

Venus: 00:08:37

So she called me later and she was like, I just want you to know, production's got to let you go.

Venus: 00:08:41

They, they need to be able to trust that whoever they have as a stand in will do what is needed to be done.

Venus: 00:08:46

And they just don't know what you're willing to do and not do.

Venus: 00:08:48

And I was like, okay, bummer, but that's fine.

Venus: 00:08:52

then the next day I got a call again from my agent.

Venus: 00:08:56

She was like, hey, I just wanted you to know, production wants you back.

Venus: 00:09:00

And I was like,

Geoff: 00:09:00

Wow, that's

Geoff: 00:09:01

strange.

Venus: 00:09:02

I know!

Venus: 00:09:02

So it was just like, totally a God thing.

Venus: 00:09:05

It just felt like, oh my gosh, Lord, being obedient you, you still were able to bless the situation.

Venus: 00:09:11

It was just a really cool thing.

Jaclyn: 00:09:13

Mm hmm.

Jaclyn: 00:09:14

And I find it interesting that, boundaries is something I think a lot of people have to figure out and navigate in their own lives regardless of what their career is.

Jaclyn: 00:09:22

But it is interesting that actors are expected to have fewer boundaries.

Jaclyn: 00:09:27

You know, like, If I go to work at a bank, I'm not expected to go and, and hug some man that I just met on set, or even just somebody that's not my husband.

Jaclyn: 00:09:39

Without even crossing lines, there's just this level of, blurring boundaries at times where, like, you would not do that in real life.

Jaclyn: 00:09:47

You're doing it because your character's doing it except that you're still doing it, right?

Jaclyn: 00:09:52

So, I mean, it's different.

Jaclyn: 00:09:54

There are some things that you are not doing even if your character's doing.

Jaclyn: 00:09:57

Like, for instance, drinking, right?

Jaclyn: 00:09:59

If the character is an alcoholic and so, you know, drinking and being drunk, in the scene...

Jaclyn: 00:10:05

the character is drunk, the actor is not.

Venus: 00:10:07

Yeah.

Venus: 00:10:07

Right.

Jaclyn: 00:10:07

There's a, there's a clear difference there, but if there's a scene where there are lovers doing their thing, well, the characters are doing it, but so are the actors.

Jaclyn: 00:10:17

So, yeah, there are times where, you're asking somebody to, set something aside that they wouldn't normally do for the sake of a project.

Jaclyn: 00:10:26

And, you know, while I understand, acting is acting, I think there needs to definitely be that option and that ability to say, well, these are my boundaries.

Jaclyn: 00:10:37

So me as an actor will not be participating in these particular things.

Venus: 00:10:42

100%.

Venus: 00:10:43

And you know what's kind of sad is in my Meisner class, I remember getting into a discussion about this kind of thing with a fellow actress and we're about the same age at the time.

Venus: 00:10:53

And I told her about, you know, my conversation with the coach and blah, blah, blah.

Venus: 00:10:56

And she was like, you can do that?

Venus: 00:10:59

And I was like, yeah, you can do that.

Venus: 00:11:00

And she's like, it just blew her mind that she could stand up for herself and have these lines.

Venus: 00:11:05

And I'm like, oh my goodness.

Venus: 00:11:07

And then I had another actor friend tell me that she was with a coach and that coach told her, If you want to be successful, you need to be willing to do anything and everything to get there.

Venus: 00:11:18

And I was like, no, ma'am, that is not how this works.

Venus: 00:11:21

You can have your values and it's okay.

Venus: 00:11:24

But I think like you said, Jaclyn, we're expected to just be cool with crossing that line, whatever the line is, and not think twice about it.

Venus: 00:11:31

And I think that that's why so many actors get taken advantage of, especially new ones because they think, Oh, I just need to work on this.

Venus: 00:11:38

Like I'm not comfortable doing it, but it's because I need training.

Venus: 00:11:41

I need to like shed this part of me that has...

Venus: 00:11:44

maybe dignity, whatever it is, I need to shed it to be a good actor.

Venus: 00:11:47

And that's like, no, you don't.

Jaclyn: 00:11:49

So, did, this have anything to do with how you moved into the Powerhouse Sisterhood?

Venus: 00:11:55

Yeah, funny enough, um, my husband, he is, he is such a, like a strong man.

Venus: 00:12:02

He doesn't care about title.

Venus: 00:12:03

It doesn't matter if you are like the top of the food chain or the bottom, he's going to treat you the same, whether you're doing great things or you're doing, poor mannered things.

Venus: 00:12:10

And so he's got a backbone and I've just always admired his backbone.

Venus: 00:12:14

And he is the one who will kind of encourage me, like, V, if they, force you to do this, just walk out.

Venus: 00:12:20

If somebody tells you this, just walk out.

Venus: 00:12:21

Like, he really emboldened me through our marriage about how I can stand up for myself and it's okay and I don't have to worry about hurting feelings if somebody else is crossing the line.

Venus: 00:12:30

And so because of what he has given to me, I wanted to give that to others and it started out as...

Venus: 00:12:36

Personal Powerhouse, started out as something completely different.

Venus: 00:12:39

But it's morphed into me wanting to help, especially women because I feel like we're so nice and kind and we don't want to defend ourselves and hurt feelings.

Venus: 00:12:48

But it kind of developed into me wanting to help other women feel like, No, it's okay.

Venus: 00:12:52

You can stand up for yourself.

Venus: 00:12:53

And it doesn't mean you're a horrible person.

Venus: 00:12:56

And so with the personal powerhouse sisterhood, it's about, actresses.

Venus: 00:13:02

It's a community.

Venus: 00:13:03

It started with young girls.

Venus: 00:13:04

Now it's women.

Venus: 00:13:05

And we're called the personal powerhouse sisterhood suite.

Venus: 00:13:07

Cause that's like the upper level.

Venus: 00:13:10

But.

Venus: 00:13:10

In the suite we have, at this moment, over 40 women, almost 50 in there, and we all help each other in this industry.

Venus: 00:13:17

And we, not just like defending ourselves, but we also support each other, and we share acting roles, and we do table reads, and like audition, and carpooling, and roommates.

Venus: 00:13:26

It's like a really awesome community, but it also is about empowering each other, and being like, Hey, I've got you.

Venus: 00:13:33

Even if that felt horrible to stand up against, and you feel like you did something wrong, let me tell you that you did something right.

Venus: 00:13:39

Like, it's okay.

Venus: 00:13:41

So, yeah.

Jaclyn: 00:13:41

Mm hmm.

Geoff: 00:13:42

Full disclosure, Jaclyn is those members.

Venus: 00:13:44

Yes, she is, and I love it.

Venus: 00:13:46

She's brought so much value in there.

Venus: 00:13:47

It is so fun.

Jaclyn: 00:13:48

Oh, thank you.

Jaclyn: 00:13:49

No, I've definitely enjoyed it.

Jaclyn: 00:13:51

And, um, for actresses that are thinking, This is exactly what I need.

Jaclyn: 00:13:56

Are you accepting new members?

Jaclyn: 00:13:58

What do they do about that?

Venus: 00:13:59

Yeah, so if you're an, actress, and you're a Christian actress specifically because that's what our community is, and you're over 18, you are welcome to join.

Venus: 00:14:07

If you go to the website, personalpowerhouse.com/suite, S U I T E, there's an interest form there.

Venus: 00:14:14

And the next part is actually a questionnaire because there is a little vetting process, which I think is why our community is so great.

Venus: 00:14:20

Cause there have been numerous submissions, like around a hundred, if not more, but not everybody's joined because when I read their questionnaire, I'm like, you're not actually here for the right reason.

Venus: 00:14:31

You're not actually in the industry.

Venus: 00:14:32

You're a guy.

Venus: 00:14:33

You know, it's just like I do this questionnaire and it really helps figure out, are you serious about this?

Venus: 00:14:38

Or are you just trying to be around actors?

Venus: 00:14:39

And like, you know, are you trying to get something out of it that you shouldn't be.

Venus: 00:14:43

So anyway, there's a questionnaire.

Venus: 00:14:44

It's a great community and they can go to the website to fill out the interest form.

Jaclyn: 00:14:48

Yeah, it's definitely a faith based community.

Jaclyn: 00:14:51

I would say faith first.

Jaclyn: 00:14:53

And basically, with that lens, now let's look at acting.

Venus: 00:14:58

Mm hmm.

Venus: 00:14:58

And it's amazing how just having that group of faith based women...

Venus: 00:15:03

we all love Jesus...

Venus: 00:15:04

and so we tend to treat each other well...

Venus: 00:15:06

the way that we'd want to be treated.

Venus: 00:15:07

It's not a competitive environment.

Venus: 00:15:09

It's like a, collaboration.

Venus: 00:15:11

Let's collaborate.

Venus: 00:15:12

Let me help you.

Venus: 00:15:13

Let me help you reach this goal.

Venus: 00:15:14

So yeah, it's all like, Jesus is the reason we are all in this industry, so let's, let's work together.

Jaclyn: 00:15:20

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 00:15:20

And so no matter whether you're in the suite or not, having people around you that you can be in that kind of community with, I think is going to make a huge difference.

Jaclyn: 00:15:30

Um, just in going through this...

Jaclyn: 00:15:31

navigating the film industry itself can be complicated at times you know, so doing it alone really sucks.

Jaclyn: 00:15:37

And that's one of the things that I love about it because I'm so, so so far separated from everybody else.

Jaclyn: 00:15:42

I don't know anybody that's in my area that is in the film industry, let alone the Christian film industry.

Jaclyn: 00:15:49

So, for me, I get to have that connection.

Jaclyn: 00:15:52

But I would encourage everybody find a group that you guys can encourage each other and seek to help each other to be like, okay, what's next on your list of things that you need to do?

Jaclyn: 00:16:01

How can I help you with that?

Jaclyn: 00:16:02

I think that we can grow faster and stronger together when we help each other, rather than, just trying to take care of our own thing.

Jaclyn: 00:16:11

You know, I'm doing me and I'm going to get there, and I don't really care if you're left behind.

Jaclyn: 00:16:16

It's not the right attitude.

Jaclyn: 00:16:17

And I think that as Christians, we need to pursue doing the film industry differently than the world does.

Jaclyn: 00:16:24

Uh, and you know, the film industry has been around for, you know, decades now, and I think that we've been able to see what the outcome is of the way that it has been run, and there are a lot of people out there that can give testimonies of regretting things that they've done because they thought they had to and so they did, and then after the fact regretted it.

Jaclyn: 00:16:46

In the Christian, like, the faith based industry, we want to be able to respect each other, and, and help each other to pursue the gifts that God has given each of us.

Jaclyn: 00:16:55

So, I want to thank you so much, um, for doing what you're doing and, and reaching out to help other people.

Jaclyn: 00:17:00

Is there anything else you'd like to share before we finish this interview?

Venus: 00:17:03

Hmm, I don't think so.

Venus: 00:17:05

I think just my biggest takeaway is know what your boundaries are, and then when you start pursuing it, make them known to whoever it is you're working with.

Venus: 00:17:13

I mean, I've even had to do it with fellow actors before a commercial gig on a Ford commercial and it was like, it's just a whole different situation.

Venus: 00:17:20

But, you have a clear conscience when you can walk away at the end of the day and be like, okay, I didn't compromise and now I feel good.

Venus: 00:17:27

So yeah, that would be it.

Venus: 00:17:29

If you need mentoring, like Jaclyn was talking about, or a community, go to personalpowerhouse.

Venus: 00:17:33

com.

Geoff: 00:17:34

Yes.

Geoff: 00:17:34

And

Geoff: 00:17:34

Yes, and we'll also make sure we include the link for your download in our show notes.

Jaclyn: 00:17:39

Thank you so much,

Venus: 00:17:40

Yes.

Venus: 00:17:40

Thank y'all for having me.

Venus: 00:17:41

This is great.

Geoff: 00:17:42

Bye-Bye.

Venus: 00:17:42

Bye.

Jaclyn: 00:17:42

God bless.